I envy you

After a gut-wrenching mental tug-of-war, we've decided to take a step back from homeschooling. We're not quiting, we are "suspending until further notice". When we decided to homeschool Caleb, he had no diagnosis. We weren't even aware of a lot of his problems. I still feel that I know my child best, and can teach him with understanding and love that no one else can't. But currently, I don't feel equip to deal with his Autism in the school setting. I will learn, but right now, we are just trying to implement strategies into our daily lives to ease the stress for both boys. We feel like we need to focus on generalizing the picture scheduling and the sensory diets before implementing that into curriculum. It has always been our strategy to evaluate each child individually, every year, to make sure we are giving them, academically, what is best. Whether that be homeschool, public school or private school. And right now, for Caleb and Andrew, they have the best resources, and the most intensive help at this pre-school. The school has "structured" classrooms, where they structure their day to suit children on the spectrum. Down the line, after studying and practice, I may be ready to take on homeschooling again, with one or both of the boys. But for now, we feel like this is what is best for them. This choice doesn't mean we'll be any less involved in their educations, and I understand my role as their advocates. They will get what they need to flourish, and we'll make sure of that.

Another major reason we have chosen pre-school for Caleb is his current anxieties about leaving the house have worsened. With picture scheduling, I think we can relieve a lot of the stress, but he needs more consistent exposure in the community. I AM NOT saying that he isn't getting proper socialization, the stereotypical argument against homeschooling. This is a problem rooted in the Autism, transition anxiety. I don't have the means to be out of the house all day with all three of my kids. There's no way I can do that alone with 3 kids 5yrs old and under, 2 on the spectrum and the other is still under 1 yr old. Planning day-trips, every day, or multiple times a week could send me straight to the looney bin (sorry that's not PC).

I would be doing Caleb a true disservice if I played to my pride and ignored my shortcomings in special education... A realization I've had to come to, is that being a good mom, means doing what is best for your child, even if it isn't you, and even if it wasn't part of "the plan."

For more obvious reasons we are sending Andrew to the preschool, he needs more intensive therapy. He is so young. He just turned 3 and I'm not ready to give up both my babies all at once, but that's what will happen Monday. Most Mom's go through the tear-jerking process of sending their kids off to school for the first time, I'm doing it with both boys, all at once. I'm going to be a mess.

Learning your child has Autism triggers a grieving process. And with any grieving process, you are forced to reevaluate your life and your future. It's very hard to accept that our lives will look drastically different now than our "plan" just months ago.

Like I said, this has been a gut-wrenching process and decision for me (and Dave). Many Americans probably won't understand my struggle, as their kids attend day-care or their plan has always been group schooling. But that wasn't our plan. Right now my life consists of hanging out with three of my best friends, all day long. I get to share their lives with them, all the little moments, all the victories, all the teachable moments, all the little joys that I'll miss while they're at school. 

To Caleb and Andrew's new teachers, I hope you see what makes them special and appreciate the beauty and sweetness of their quarks, I envy you.

Spotlight on Radical Unschooling

Watch this first from CBS News from 4/20/10:

Being new to the homeschooling scene, all I have to go on is what I have read in books about the Unschooling philosophy along with my own common sense. This is completely my opinion, and I believe everyone has a right to their own.

From where I stand...I think Unschooling, like everything has a spectrum. I think that the families highlighted in the video are definitely on the radical end of the Unschooling philosophy. The wonderful thing about Unschooling in my opinion is that is driven by a passion to learn and its organic nature makes learning fun. This concept should be implemented into every home whether public,private or homschooled on a daily basis. BUT, I think there has to be guidance for children to learn the array of life lessons and academic knowledge they need to succeed in their culture. We are the parents and (presumably) have the wisdom to know what is and isn't good for our children. We are charged with the responsibility to pass that wisdom on to our children, not let them willy nilly do and learn only what they feel like. Our nature is a sinful one that leads us away from what is right, and without guidance from parents and God, our children will flounder on their own. The households outlined in the story don't have structure or rules in their homes. I believe this is bluntly unbiblical. Children are in need of structure and discipline in order to be Christlike.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

I also disagree with the premiss in the report that other homeschools are just imitating or reenacting the public/private school environment at home. I think as a whole, homeschoolers think more outside the box than that. Again, it is a spectrum. We haven't started putting into practice our homeschooling philosophy yet, but I know it will not look like Unschooling or be a replication of public school. Caleb happens to learn very well in the Traditional style of homeschooling, so that is going to be our starting point. I am planning on and expecting that it will morph into an eclectic style as we move forward based on Caleb's needs and desires. I'd say that our starting philosophy is a combination of the Charlotte Mason philosophy mixed with Traditional, depending on the subject area. Down the line as Caleb's character and interests develop I see us possibly going the route of unit studies, especially when his little brother and sister join into the mix.

I think it is doing a child a disservice to give them complete freedom. I know as a child I would have chosen Mtv (which we weren't allowed to watch) over the history channel any day. If you read the descriptions of the Unschooling philosophy (below), in premiss I don't disagree with it. I do disagree however with how these families have applied it, without discipline and without sufficient guidance. The gem of the philosophy is learning in a natural way. In my opinion, it's just not enough, and definitely not for every family.

My official coming out

So, this is my official coming out. I am... going to homeschool my kids. I have been reluctant to commit, mostly because it is so counterculture and I really don’t want to face all the outside skepticism that comes along with the decision. This reluctance to commit stems from my own weakness, and I understand that if I venture to do this solely on my own, I will fail. I believe that with God’s help, this experience will be successful and fulfilling for both of us.

The intention of this blog is to post our hopefully weekly activities related to homeschooling. The creation of this blog is not to prove myself to anyone nor to brag (I’m going to assume we are going to have some achievements!), but to have a yearbook or portfolio for us to look at and celebrate. It also serves the purpose to keep friends and family in the loop so they can enjoy the experience too. Hopefully our triumphs and mistakes will challenge other homeschoolers as well.

To answer the question everyone asks or wants to ask, but doesn’t... WHY HOMESCHOOL? We (when I say “we” I mean this is 100% a joint decision between me and Dave to homeschool) created this list to bring clarity to our decision. These points can answer your questions as well as serve as a reminder to myself “why” during the trials. After a years worth of research and prayer (I have a library full of “reasons to homeschool” books) we have come to the conclusion to homeschool because:

- We want to be the main influencing source in our child’s life and that requires the majority of his time spent with us. We want our children to be positively socialized. This is a continuation of our beliefs that has led to me being a stay-at-home mom.

- We want to give him a tailored education that suits his specific needs and desires in order to instill a love of learning for a lifetime.

- We believe that God calls us to be responsible for the education of our children, and we feel that this is how we can best fulfill that call.

- We want to give him an education that integrates learning about God, and his purpose on earth. The goal is to raise him into a Godly man of integrity.

- We appreciate homeschooling's flexible schedule which is conducive to Dave’s changing work schedule.

- And lastly because we have the freedom to do so.

There is a particular verse that has inspired us in this endeavor:
Romans 12:2 (New American Standard Bible)

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.